Local Hospice Volunteer Shares Story of Helping Families Through Grief

ALTON - A local BJC volunteer works with people in hospice care so they have a friend in their final days.

Kathy Barrow never anticipated that she would volunteer with hospice patients. In fact, when a nurse asked her to sit with a patient in the past, the idea “kind of freaked [her] out.” But after losing her mother and hearing about the hospice program, Barrow felt that God was telling her to give it a try. Now, she visits with a hospice patient every week and makes memory teddy bears for grieving families.

“To help someone else, that’s what it’s all about, really,” she said. “I try to spend an hour [with the patient]. That’s not much out of a week for someone who’s on their way out of this world.”

Barrow joked that she has “gotten really lazy” since retiring nine years ago, and she thought volunteering would give her something to do. It quickly became more personal as she met her patient and got to know his past, hobbies and personality.

Over the past few months, she has helped him write cards for his family members, read to him, watched TV and played games. Her most recent visit was quieter; he didn’t feel up to talking, so Barrow left him with a card and a soda, to let him know she was there. As she prepares for his passing, it’s emotional, but she knows she did some good for him in his final days.

“I don’t know how much longer he’ll be with us or how I’ll act when he does go, but I think I’ll feel good about spending time with him,” she said.

When she isn’t volunteering, Barrow spends a lot of time sewing teddy bears and quilts for grieving families. She will use a loved one’s t-shirt as fabric to create the teddy bears for their families. She shared that her mother always spoke about wanting a hug from a lost loved one, and she thinks about her mom as she creates these bears.

“She always said that she just missed hugs. She missed a hug from my dad and she missed hugs from the kids. So I just kind of picture that with giving those teddy bears back. It gives those children or that wife or the spouse something to hug,” Barrow explained. “That gives you a good feeling too. It gives you a feeling that you’re helping someone in their grief, giving them something special to hold or touch. That’s such a blessing.”

As families collect her bears and Barrow spends more time with her hospice patient, she feels certain that she has found a calling. She encourages other people to consider volunteering with BJC’s Hospice program. Not only is it “very rewarding, very fulfilling” for Barrow, but it’s also a way to “let [the patients] know somebody cares” as they prepare for the next stage in their journeys.

She hopes she continues to be a positive light in the lives of grieving families and hospice patients, and she urges others to consider doing the same.

“I have always wanted to encourage people and make people smile. I’m told that’s my gift in life, so I feel like this is putting it in action,” she shared. “It’s just very rewarding to feel that I can help someone be more comfortable and smile in their last days.”

For more information about volunteering with BJC Hospice, visit the official webpage.

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